Ponderings
by Sunruner
Summary: Oneshot. Major Spoilers. So many months after the showdown on Eldrant, everyone has cause to be happy, yes? Well, not quite. But it's nothing a few drinks and a bit of thinking can't handle.


**I don't think I will ever come to like the ending of any "Tales of…" game. Granted, I've only played Symphonia and Abyss, and Symphonia's was absolute crap, but I'm still not that fond of Abyss's either.**

**Thankfully, I'm using Jade, so this shouldn't be too angsty. Stupid Namco with their awesome games...**

* * *

**Ponderings**

I have dreaded this day for so long it is not even comical. In truth, I do not know whether it has been this morning, when the entire affair truly began which I have come over the years to dread, or this afternoon when it all took place. Better yet it could be now in the evening time when everything is being finalized and consummated which makes my stomach churn, but the effect is all the same. Why not kick it up a notch more and say that it was several weeks ago when the news first struck me which has sent me on this downward spiral?

I never was one to follow or trust in the Score; and in the many months since it has not only been sealed away but finally disproved in its entirety I haven't found myself inkling to know what it might've said. Now however, I almost regret never having taken an interest in Yulia's Score. Perhaps having read it once or twice might have been sufficient reminder for me not to fool myself into believing life would be quaint and happy after all the business with the Outer Lands.

Well, that alone is a foolish thought, because the Score was already useless the instant the world's first perfect replica drew its first breath. A drink to Fon Fabre may be in order then. Yes, why not make it two?

"A toast to Their Royal Majesties, Emperor Peony and Empress Nephry!" Three… four… let's play the_ 'Drink till I can't count game'_! I do so enjoy that one…

Yes, Empress Nephry. Now, how is a man in my position supposed to feel in light of such a development? Well, perhaps it's not so much a development as it is the final peak of a long and complicated courtship spanning the better part of two decades and several hundred royal temper tantrums.

Regardless, I am now the brother-in-law of his Royal Majesty, Emperor Peony the Ninth of the Malkuth Empire. Another drink. Please.

Everyone from Chesedonia to Keterburg is likely drinking, dancing, carousing and having a generally good time. And to be frank I am no different, save for the lack of dancing, carousing, and a good time. Our Empire at last has a noble Queen for our glorious Emperor to proceed to make many royal babies with.

…Babies…

"Lookin' a tad green there, Brigadier. Can I fix you something up? On the house for you; M'lord!" I believe I am going to be violently ill… Let us not even delve into the level of discomfort my new title also brings about. Brigadier indeed…

"No, no, I fear I might have eaten too much at the festivities earlier this evening." Yes, half a tart and a sliced olive can be surprisingly filling. I don't know how much more I might have stomached watching the silvery blue of my sister's gown being swung around on the arm of the Emperor. "But, do remember than I am a member of the Curtiss family, not the Balphor. Her Majesty's good fortune translates into nothing for myself." Except for a blinding headache come dawn, but it is not near the dawn light just yet!

For a man such as I to be caught without his uniform, it is an uncomfortable alteration, and one I refused to undergo. I don't believe I've ever truly been intimidated by Peony before, but when I mentioned wearing the new uniform my rank has earned me to the wedding, I was- for the first time since childhood- concerned for my own bodily health. Had Nephry not intervened at the last possible moment, I am fairly sure my dear dark blues and golds would be marred by rappig hooves…

Well, perhaps I do not have it as bad as others. At the very least, it is not as though I envy either of them. It is merely the distinct lack of comfort I am to endure for years to come as a result of this arrangement which causes me to cringe and top up my glass once more. My but what a year this has been. Near war with Kimlasca-Lanvaldear, the revelation and lowering of the Outer Lands, two bouts with the legendary miasma leading to its final neutralization. Coming face to face with the Score Prophesized_ 'He Who Shall Seek Glory'_, and two_ 'Lights of the Sacred Flame'_, not to mention the complete revolution of the Order of Lorelei and the Score itself!

Yes, I have had a very busy and disturbing year indeed, enough to warrant another throw back I would say. Perhaps even ten.

But no, I haven't got it as bad as some others do. Of course, there are the many thousands of people all across the world who are Score Deprived and in need of it like a drug. Tragic really, so many unexplained murders, thefts and broken families as normal, calm, peaceful members of society all begin to break down from the inside. Yes, the Score was and is a drug, but it is one our world has been surrounded by for hundreds of years. It is not something we can be weaned off of, but instead must abandon all at once, which we are now in the midst of doing.

Yes, the score is a drug, as is alcohol. However, the distinct difference is that I have never come to depend solely on either one. This of course gives me a good deal of lee-way in the manner of indulgence. Bottoms up.

But yes, the Score, and the Order of Lorelei as well. I'm still at a loss as to how the Order is to survive, shambled, broken, and without purpose as it is. Anise certainly will have her hands full in the coming years; a fourteen-no, fifteen. A fifteen year old girl without the seventh fonon; trying to rebuild an Order which has no Score to read or protect, with shattered military power and credibility. I haven't the faintest idea as to how she expects to pull it all together, but I certainly won't be the one to stop her, she isn't _my_ child after all.

Child. Children. Babies… Oh bother.

On the matter of children, if the world would stop spinning for a moment I would like to explore that thought for a moment… Yes, on the topic of children, a certain seven year old seems to be raising hell in a very tiny social web I just so happen to be a member of.

I am almost never wrong when I formulate a hypothesis. Regrettably, due to my inability to tie down the notorious and now none-existent presence of Asch, the former son of the Fon Fabre household, I was somewhat off my mark regarding the relationship between himself and his perfect isofon.

From the information I had gathered from the tiny Cheagle, _'Star'_, he died in captivity after Dist's experiments on him. Also according to the tiny sacred beast, he felt a rush of warmth and woke up shortly after death, only to find that his Replica had vanished.

Well now, since Luke recalled a similar warmth when Asch was killed, I would have assumed that to be the end of that, with one Isofon absorbed into the other. However, in Star's case it raises the question of which one actually died first; the Replica or its Original. That's something the small being was unable to clarify for me in Sheridan…

But when Luke and Asch vanished into the Core after the release of Lorelei, it was a strange, combined version of the two who met us in Tartaroo valley some months ago. Regrettably for the other members of our party as well, although armed with the Replica Luke's carefully maintained Diary, this new Luke holds only shattered memories of both…

Viscount Luke Fon Fabre… He's a new man to say the least, how painful it must be for the Princess of Kimlasca-Lanvaldear to work as closely with him as she does now. He remembers only shambles of the events outlined clearly in the diary he once kept, although his common knowledge is as expansive as Asch's once was and he has the rationality –or lack there of- of the Replicated Luke.

He also of course shares traits from both swordsmen; such as his stubbornness and inability to give up on a lost or at least momentously difficult cause. Many thousands of Replicas were consumed atop the Tower of Rem to neutralize the Miasma, but thousands more remain wandering all of Auldrant. I suppose it is admirable of Luke to have seen this as his cause and purpose, protecting his _'people'_ as it were and advocating for their rights to live and at least be given some sort of chance to function in societies which refuse them. His noble rank and connections are of course of great help to him, especially those in Baticule, Daath, here in Grand Chokma, and of course in Yulia City.

But, still, the problem of his memory remains. At the very least he isn't pitiful and spends his days simpering about his lost knowledge, having very few emotional attachments to any of us. He has grown very friendly with Gailardia as is to be expected, his presence along with that of Natalia seems to stimulate the memories of both Asch and Luke to reform and merge into something solid. It makes an old man wonder if such a reaction were to occur in the presence of Tear, but, that is not a possibility which is likely to be explored.

Foolish, foolish Mystearica… It is true that there's more of a reaction when the memories of both Luke and Asch overlap one another in the mind of this new Luke, since he recognized Guy right away but was painfully slow to recall _my_ name. But that does not mean all is lost. It's as though someone's hit the reset button with many of his emotional attachments as well, he is of course warm and respectful to his parents, knows his place with his elders- as well as one can expect from the combined Luke and Asch Fon Fabre at least. But somehow, this blank slate seems too painful for her to bear witnessing.

I think she put too much of herself into that Diary of his… Too many hopes, prayers, and pieces of her heart. It pains an old man to remember such things as watching so young a heart shatter so completely. For a few short moments that night in the Valley each of us was able to see the young girl beyond the mask of the soldier. How cruel it was to watch as her first time opening up resulted in such a deadly blow to the heart.

Oh well, I suppose there's little more one can expect after pledging their heart to a Prophesized Hero she knew was already doomed to Vanish even before we reached that final stairway to He Who Would Seize Glory. Poor girl of course, but I can't help but find her to have been anything more than just plain naïve up until that point.

On the matter of Naïve friends, I suppose the most under-appreciated of us all also allowed his hopes to balloon to far. If Mieu honestly thought all would be forgiven and forgotten after his one year exile expired, then perhaps Luke was right to have always kicked and abused him so. Of course, by Cheagle law he was absolved for his crimes which killed hundreds of Lygers and many more Cheagles in the woods north of Engave, but that does not mean his society's members had forgiven him.

So really, I don't quite understand why everyone was so surprised when word was sent- first to my Office in Grand Chokma and then out to all of them again- that a tiny blue Cheagle with a golden band around his belly had wandered beaten and alone into Engave one night. I believe the final verdict was for Mieu to reside with Tear within Yulia City.

I think deep down he himself wanted to return to his _'Master'_ Luke, but even I was well aware of the pain radiating from the poor girl when we all met that time three weeks ago. She didn't take her eyes off of him once, but I don't think the fool even noticed. The cruelty of youth.

Complicated courtships seem to follow me as a plague, how wretched. Just to stir the volatile soup of emotions just a little bit more, when the lot of us rendezvoused at Kaitzur Luke's eyes did not stray from Natalia…

Well now, what honestly was to be expected? Tear locks herself away with Teodoro within Yulia City, aiding Anise in Daath whenever she actually allows herself out into the sunlight again, and Natalia is out traveling with Luke at every chance she gets. Yes, our new Luke is aware of Tear, considers her a friend –or so he said last he wandered into Grand Chokma. But the girl he knows through correspondence cannot measure up to the one constantly around him and accompanying him on his business trips.

Besides, there's also the hypothesis regarding overlapping memories. I believe that although Asch was about as tactful as an enraged three legged dog in heat, he still had a number of unresolved feelings for the Princess of Kimlasca-Lanvaldear. On the reverse side, for the seven years of his true life, Luke was expected to marry Natalia, so was also close friends with him.

Well, bad luck for- Oh, bloody hell…

"Barkeep." Ah-tut-tut-tut, somehow that simple word causes my throat to catch and grind against itself. My hand seems to swirl around in the air without the rest of my arm as I grip the thick neck of the bottle. My but it feels heavy; I can't see anything in it though, wasn't it full a minute ago? "I see empty…" No, no, that wasn't what I wanted to say.

My, how high up the floor seems- I mean- wait, no. Low, low down it seems. I'm the one who's up high… Is that a bit of Glad on the floor? It's coming up rather quickly…

Oh blast.

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With a very over pronounced calm and clarity of the eye, Brigadier-General Jade Curtiss promptly allowed his face to smash into the floor. The barkeep sighed.

"Necromancer's hit his quota I'd say," One of his patrons laughed, banging his glass on the bar top a few times and smiling with the giddy high of alcohol. Smiling himself, he set down the glass he'd been in the midst of cleaning, took a swig from his own drink, and let himself out from behind the bar.

"Smashed his glasses up good too…" It was a bit hard to talk by this point, the night was wearing on into early morning, but outside there were still loud songs being sung and dances being held all across the city. He knew that to look outside the waterfalls of the floating capital would be alight and flashing as a thousand mirrors, very pretty from up here on the second floor.

"Alright, help me get him up." Waving the other patron over, the two knelt down and hoisted the military officer up off the floor. Momentarily checking to make sure any red was simply from the Necromancer's fonon-spelled eyes and not from a wayward shard of glass, the barkeep gave a toothy grin and clapped the unconscious Brigadier a few times on the shoulder.

"Aye, my sister got married too. Help me get him into the back, Brigadier's met his quota."

"What was he mutterin' about anyways?"

"Who knows? What do you think about when you drink?"

"Ladies."

"Aside from that."

"Naked Ladies."

"Nevermind…"

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**Hey, cool, I can make this into a multi-chapter really easily if I sat down and put my mind too it. Review, check back in a few weeks and maybe I really WILL have something to go off of. This ending bit right here'll likely change though. Sorry to have it die off like it did, I just didn't want to go into… well… any physical description at the moment. Kinda lazy xP **

**And yes, I apologize for any spelling errors in this story, I just really didn't want to have to muck around downstairs to check the game. **

**Review! Review, review, review! **


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